In 2019 I started running again. Small distances with the goal to just get moving for 30 minutes a day. Truth be told, I didn’t even really keep track of my mileage anywhere. Before I knew it I set my sights on running a half marathon. Then I started paying more attention to my training schedule. But honestly that first year I really had no idea how many miles I had run. Turns out, because I went back and checked it was 578.5.
Here comes 2020 and I set a goal of 1000 miles for the year. Totally makes sense, right? I should be able to nearly double my mileage now that I’m a more regular runner with longer races planned. Bam- welcome Covid in March of 2020. I doubled down on my running to maintain my sanity. With the boys home from school from March until August I had a lot more flexibility to when I could run. Less time pressure meant more miles. Quickly it became clear that I was going to blow past 1000 and then set a modified goal of 1300. I finished up 2020 with 1310 miles.
So like any good runner when it came time to set a goal for 2021 I went big and said 1500 miles. Why, on earth I would think that I could surpass my 2020 miles by nearly 200 I have no idea. But that’s the goal I set and for the first half of the year I was on target to hit that goal. Then you know life happened. I started a new job- YAY- but I was balancing working full time and momming and trying to have some fun because it was summer. I hit a wall so to speak with my running as my dad became sicker. It just lost its luster for a bit. A few weeks of not feeling it meant lower mileage weeks. I never stopped running all together, I just cut back considerably on my miles. Cutting back on your miles when you set a lofty goal makes you reconsider your goal. I started wondering why the number of miles was important. Wasn’t the point to still get moving each day? Post marathon it would have been really easy to pack it in for the year, but I knew I wanted to finish the year strong. I did something I never do and I took an entire week off after NYC. My body was tired both physically and emotionally. I actually felt up to running by Wednesday following the marathon, but knew that I was just exhausted so I listened to my body and rested. Then picked up right where I had left off, but with easy miles.
If I’m being honest I’ve had a mental shift. Not to say, running isn’t still important to me, but rather than focus on the quantity of the miles I want to go back to focusing on the quality of the miles. Maybe that means running somewhere new- i.e. the Grand Canyon. While it was only three miles, they were some of the most amazing miles I have ever run.
As I’m finishing up 2021, I feel blessed that I ran (knock wood) without injury. That’s not to say that I didn’t have some hip pain from time to time but nothing like in 2020. I got back to racing in person and it felt so good!!! First up was the Baltimore 10 Miler. This race was practically in my back yard and I made a last minute decision to run it. It was HARD. It was humid and the course was crazy hilly- but I was back to racing in person so I didn’t care…until the next day when my quads were on fire!! Up next the Frederick Half Marathon. This was my first half in person in over 17 months. And one of the many races that I deferred from 2020 when racing was canceled. I had a solid showing and again was just so happy to be back to “real” races. My favorite of all races, The Charles Street 12 was in the Fall. I had a huge PR in that race and finally felt like myself again. That’s all before the NYC Marathon. For a year, when racing in person didn’t start until the summer, I would say that from a running standpoint 2021 was in fact a success. Did I hit 1500 miles- heck no. But I’ve truly realized the number of miles isn’t nearly as important as I had once thought.
So what’s next for 2022? I’ll float a mileage goal in my head for a bit. Maybe I’ll go back to the original goal of 1000 miles and see what happens. But I think I’m going to set a consistency goal, rather than a mileage goal. I would like to consistently run 4-5 days a week and cross train/strength train at minimum one day a week but more like 2 days a week. If I can consistently cross train in addition to my running I know I will be in better shape come October and the Chicago Marathon! I’m also going to build some rest in as well. I’ve come to realize that rest is important too. Yes, I know this should have been a no brainer, but sometimes I’m a little dense.
As for races- I have about a half dozen in mind and it appears I’ve already registered for 4!! I’m registered for: the Frederick Half Marathon in May, Baltimore 10 Miler in June, the Chicago Marathon in October and the Rocky Run in Philadelphia in November. I’m also looking at a a half marathon in March- 5K in May as well as my favorite 12 Miler in September- Charles Street 12. Looks like 2022 is shaping up to be a full year with lots of opportunity! Cheers to a new year and a blank slate to create a new running journey and vision building off of a successful 2021!!
“Covid times” renewed my desire to read. I’ve always been a reader, loving books and reading from when I was in elementary school. I can still remember the first “big” book that I read. Little Women. I remember laying on the couch reading it, the feel of the book. Reading has always been a huge focus with our boys. From before they knew what was happening they were being read to and have adopted the same passion that Jeffrey and I have for books. Life has a funny way of getting in the way of our hobbies. For a long time life got in the way of reading and I would read a handful of books a year. Sometimes 10 or 12. So, I guess, I was still reading, but not quite to the same level I’m reading now.
I suspect I’m not alone when I say I have a “type” of book that I generally gravitate to. I read all the legal/mystery books. Gravitating towards Michael Connelly, David Baldalcci and the like. But there came a time when I had read all of their books and then bam I’d have to wait for the next book to come out. Welcome to 2021 and Goodreads. Seriously Strava and Goodreads are my social media picks of the year!! I love learning about new titles and authors through Goodreads. Building my to be read (TBR) list is something in which I take great pleasure. So I went from what in the world am I going to read to how am I possibly going to read all of these books. As if Goodreads wasn’t enough my best friend from college and I joined Book of the Month(BOT), ah even more books to think about each month. What started as we were going to read one book a month and discuss quickly became three or four books. Then I started following Read with Jenna and Reese’s Book Club. Seriously- I just want to send the boys to school and read all day!!! While that isn’t an option I’m still managing to get 3-4 books in a month.
I thought it would be fun to take a closer look at the books of 2021, along with the new authors that I discovered and will now read everything that have written!! I truly love finding an author whose books I can devour. That is until I realized I’ve read all of their books and I’m anxiously awaiting their newest release. Here’s the lineup in order read the books of 2021. While the year got a slow start with reading because of reviewing NYU applications, it took off in March and I never looked back.
Books
A Time for Mercy, John Grisham – I’ve been reading Grisham for more years than I can remember. I enjoyed catching up with an “old friend” in A Time for Mercy. A great read to start the year.
Handof Evil, JA Jance– I learned about JA Jance in the fall of 2020 as I was preparing to run my virtual marathon. The first book I “read” of hers was actually on Audible, while I ran. I loved the fiesty character Ali Reynolds and started back at the beginning of her books. There are many more to read and I’ll have to start adding them back in my TBR list.
Cruel Intent, JA Jance– Another Ali Reynolds thriller from Jance.
Fifty Words for Rain, Asha Lemmie Part of my challenge to myself this year was to read books that were different from my typical crime/mystery/thrill category. Fifty Words for Rain took me to Japan and did just that. I did a combination of reading and listening to this book on Audible and it did not disappoint.
Corrupted, Lisa Scottoline Lisa Scottoline is another “old” friend when it comes to authors and books. I’ve read nearly all of her books and had the opportunity to go to several of her book signings, even bringing Jackson to one as a baby. She’s an amazing woman and author.
Beartown, Fredrik Backman Years and years ago a friend suggested I read Beartown. I remember thinking, why on earth would I want to read a book about a hockey team?? Oh my this is about a hockey team and so much more. I can’t believe I waited so long to read Backman’s books and then devoured them in quick succession!
Anxious People, Fredrik Backman While I was new to Backman, Backman wasn’t new to writing. This was one of his newer releases and I eagerly read it while I I figured out that Us Against You was the sequel to Beartown. It didn’t disappoint.
Us Against You, Fredrik Backman This follow up to Beartown was even better than the original. I’m so enamored by the community that Backman has created and cannot wait for the third book to be released.
Britt-Marie Was Here, Fredrik Backman While this wasn’t my favorite from Backman it was still a great read and I’m happy that I read it.
A Man Called Ove, Fredrik Backman I didn’t think Backman could get better than Beartown, but somehow he did. This book had me laughing and crying. Truly an amazing read!
Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine, Gail Honeyman I had this on my TBR list for some time and finally got to it. I enjoyed reading something different and thoroughly enjoyed it.
How Lucky, Will Leitch (BOT) This was my first Book of the Month read. And the first time I read an actual book versus on my Kindle in a very LONG time.
Good Company, Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney (BOT)Another choice from Book of the Month. I quickly realized that I was going to be addicted to looking forward to what new books I choose from each month!!
The Vanishing Half, Brit Bennett This book was all over the top must read lists. It was again, something I wouldn’t have typically selected on my own, but I’m so pleased that I went outside my comfort zone and gave this book a try.
The Guest List, Lucy Foley I can’t quite remember how this got on my TBR list but this interesting read, told from a variety of perspectives was so good that I also read her previous book The Hunting Party.
Beach Read, Emily Henry This was a solid, RomCom. Who doesn’t love a good romantic comedy every now and then?? A quick and fun read.
Early Morning Riser, Katherine Heiny So many new authors this year and Heiny was another. A book about sacrifice and untraditional families was a tear jerker.
The Midnight Library, Matt Haig This was another one of those- must read books of 2021- completely different than what I would normally read and again I was not disappointed. Have you ever considered the different lives you could have lived??
The Maidens, Alex Michaelides (BOT)Book of the Month has not disappointed. This wouldn’t have necessarily been a book I would have selected but for it being one of the handful of BOT books. It would have certainly been my loss had I not had the opportunity it read this twisty and turning book that kept me guessing to the end. Once I learned that this was Michaelides’ second book, I knew I would have to read the first.
The Last Thing He Told Me, Laura Dave (BOT) This was my first introduction to Laura Dave and I’m so glad!! I literally read this book in two days. I couldn’t put it down. Once I finished I was off to look up her other books and read them as well.
The Hunting Party, Lucy Foley After reading the Guest List, I was looking for more Lucy Foley. Not going to lie, this was remarkably similar in feel to The Guest List. That said, I really enjoyed this book.
Such a Fun Age, Kiley Reid I challenged myself to read different kinds of books this year. Such a Fun Age was something that would have not really been in my wheelhouse. However, it was a though provoking and quick read.
Red, White & Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston Reading about the first son’s relationship with the Prince of England. Highly entertaining. This was a funny and enjoyable book. I look forward to reading more from McQuiston.
The People we meet on Vacation, Emily Henry (BOT) So I had this BOT to read before I read Beach Read, yet somehow I read Beach Read first. Emily Henry writes quick and enjoyable books. I look forward to more books from her.
Golden Girl,Elin Hilderbrand. This was my first from Hilderbrand. I know that Hilderbrand is HUGE. She has a ton of books and generally people LOVE her. The jury is still out for me. It’s possible that this book hit too close to home…spoiler alert it involves a runner who dies in a hit a run. But I’m also just not sure that Hilderbrand’s style is for me. I have a few more books on my TBR list from Hilderbrand so stay tuned in 2022.
The Guncle, Steven Rowley– I didn’t stop laughing. While this book had highs and lows-it was a funny book both while I was reading it and listening to it on Audible. I was a huge fan.
We Are the Brennans, Tracey Lange (BOT) Another quality read from Book of the Month. I’d say it was good. Not great, but not bad. It was a solid read.
The Last Summer at the Golden Hotel,Elyssa Friedland– Think behind the scenes of Dirty Dancing. Not so much the main story of Dirty Dancing but rather the operations of the resort. This was my first introduction to Elyssa Friedland and you’ll see that I was quick to read another one of her books. Two thumbs up.
The First Husband,Laura Dave– When I find an author with a style that I like I want to read all of their books. Laura Dave doesn’t disappoint. I enjoy her relatable style and the thriller/mystery component of her writing.
The Floating Feldmans, Elyssa Friedland- True story, I’ve been on more than 15 cruises. It’s what we do as an extended family in December practically annually- you know barring COVID. So I knew I had to read this book. It was funny and relatable. Definitely a great read.
Once There Were Wolves, Charlotte McConaghy (BOT). This was my first really total dud of a book from Book of the Month. I plowed through despite really wanting to not finish it at all. This is the benefit of picking books with a friend- a little “pressure” to finish a book even when it’s not great.
Rock, Paper Scissor, Alice Feeney (BOT). I’m a critical reader. I pay attention. I rarely have a holy cow did that just happen moment. Looking for twists and turns- this one is for you!!
The President’s Daughter,Bill Clinton and James Patterson– While some of this book jumps the shark so to speak, but overall the book is really well written. Long- but a quick read. Definitely recommend.
The Silent Patient,Alex Michaelides– this is one of the best books I’ve read EVER. I’m not going to say anything other than you NEED to read this book!!
Hello, Sunshine,Laura Dave– Clearly I have a book crush on Laura Dave as I work my way through all of her books. This is probably not my favorite book of hers, but still a decent and quick read.
Where the Grass is Green and the Girls are Pretty, Laura Weisberger– Honest review- this was just OK. It didn’t really give me anything to think about after and lagged at points.
The Lincoln Highway, Amore Towles. (BOT) Heads up- this book is practically 600 pages. But, it didn’t necessarily feel that long. It was good. I wouldn’t say it was great. Historical fiction is a little out of my wheelhouse of regular reads. I’m glad I read it, but won’t necessarily need to read others by Towles.
A Little Hope, Ethan Joella (BOT). I had so much hope for this book. Pun intended. But, it just didn’t do it for me. Less than 300 pages so not a huge time commitment, but so much focus on grief and loss. Life is too serious to read a bummer of a book.
Beautiful Country (BOT), Qian Julie Wang Truth be told I struggled with this book. A memoir is well outside my typical book choice. I started it and stopped to read something else and then went back to finish it. In the end I’m glad that I gave it a second chance. The story is important to consider and Wang does a good job discussing the challenges of poor immigrant families who had much more in the their home country of China, but came to the United States for the many opportunities.
The Collective (BOT), Allison Gaylin I’m still not quite sure what I think of this book. It was INTENSE. Some of it was a bit much to really think about. It was definitely different. Glad I read it, but wouldn’t necessarily say it was on of my favorites on the year.
Class Mom, Laurie Gelman I jokingly said that this was “research” for work. This was a quick read from Gelman. And I’ll be sure to follow it up with You’ve been Volunteered. If you are looking for light, mom humor give Class Mom a read.
The Dark Hours(Renée Ballard, #4), Michael Connelly– Connelly remains one of my favorite authors. I will always read his new books and The Dark Hours did not disappoint. Ballard and Bosch are a dynamic duo. If you are new to Connelly- start at the beginning of his books. While you don’t have to read them necessarily in order, the context of the series is helpful.
Mercy,David Baldacci– Baldacci is another one of my absolute favorites. This is book 4 in the Atlee Pine series. For these you really need to go back to the first book in the series to fully appreciate the story as each one builds off the other. So if you are looking for a four book series- this is the one!!
The Editor, Steven Rowley– historical fiction with Jackie O from one of my new favorite authors. Yes, please!! I plowed right through this book that hit on so many “real” life topics yet again. But with so much humor and grace. Cannot wait to read Lily and the Octopus.
The Magic Hour, Kristin Hannah– this book literally took my breath away. While I had heard wonderful things about Hannah’s books, I just hadn’t gotten to one yet. This book was powerful and a tear jerker. I highly recommend it and can guarantee I’ll be reading more of Hannah’s books in 2022.
New Authors that I LOVE!!
There’s something to be said when you read an author’s new book, only to realize they are just new to you and you can go back and read their other works. This year I had the opportunity to discover new authors that I loved and went back to read their other books. See- exploring new books and genres opens up a whole new world! My top new authors of 2021 are:
Steven Rowley– I started my Rowley reading with The Guncle. This laugh out loud book was also filled with a variety of emotion. I loved the easy to ready style- more like Rowley was having a conversation with the reader through his characters. While The Guncle was primarily funny, there were serious components and “real life” moments explored through the book as well. I enjoyed it so much that when asked for recommendations from friends it was always on my list. Which meant I had to back and read Rowley’s other books. Plus you’ve got to love when an author responds to your post on Instagram stories. All this to say, I hope to have the opportunity to meet Rowley in person at an author event!
Laura Dave– It all started with a BOT book that I literally couldn’t put down. Upon completion I quickly researched Dave’s other books and started crossing them off my TBR list. It’s possible I have a few more in the stack by my bead to ready in the new year.
Frederik Backman– Easily 10 years ago a friend recommended the I read Bear Town. At first I didn’t think I was intrigued by the plot but finally gave it a read. It was amazing, as has been everything else that I’ve read from Backman. As you can I took a deep dive into his other books. If I had to pick a favorite it would likely be A Man Called Ove. That said, you can’t go wrong with any of them.
Alex Michaelides– If you are looking for a what in the world just happened, holy cow that was amazing book then please read Michaelides. And please let him write more books!! It’s possible that The Silent Patient is one of the best books I’ve read…ever!
I cannot wait to see what 2022 brings in the world of books and reading. I’m continuing to add to my TBR list over on Goodreads. In 2021 I implemented a hybrid reading plan. While I want to buy all the books…I can’t buy all of the books. So some of them I read on my Kindle borrowed from the library. While I mostly read “real” books. Now to figure out where I’m going to put all of these books. But as I always tell the boys- you can never have TOO MANY BOOKS!!
As I approached 40 I caught the marathon bug. 2020 was the year that I was going to run the NYC Marathon. The biggest, greatest, marathon of all marathons. A classic if you will. March 8, 2020 I registered to run as part of the Alzheimer’s Association team, in honor of my Dad who was suffering from Alzheimer’s. Two short weeks later COVID-19 began to impact the United States and the world more profoundly. Everyday life as we knew it had changed. Slowly but surely all races were beginning to be canceled- by June the 2020 NYC Marathon was like all others and it too was canceled. As was the case with many runners, I grieved the lack of racing opportunities, but this one hit hard. For a variety of reasons I was determined to run a marathon in 2020- big birthday around the corner, the 50th running of the marathon and I wasn’t sure my Dad would live to see November 2021 and wanted him to know that I had accomplished this bucket list item in his honor. I had two choices- pout that I wasn’t going to be running five bridges and boroughs in 2020 or do something about it. Despite the marathon being canceled I continued my fundraising and I decided to start my training cycle with the goal of running the Virtual NYC Marathon. I knew that with every training cycle I learned something new, so having a dress rehearsal if you will before the “real deal” seemed like a reasonable backup plan. Everyone says, be sure to carefully select that first marathon experience. Look for great crowd support- a course that will help you to go the distance. My first marathon was anything but- I ran in loops from my house. My crowd support consisted of some deer, squirrels and the guys taking down trees in my yard, until mile 20 or so when my family/friends came out to give me the final push to go the distance. While this was far from the NYC experience of running a marathon, I controlled a lot of the factors that you don’t get to control when running a major marathon. I slept in my own bed the night before. I was able to get up when I wanted and eat my normal breakfast. I listened to NY, NY by Frank Sinatra with my boys and hit the road. I didn’t listen to music. I didn’t have loud crowds cheering me on. Instead, I listened to an audio book and ran my solo 26.2. For what will likely be the only time I broke the tape that my then 5 and 7 year old children created as I crossed the home made finish line completing my first marathon. While I was initially disappointed that NYC didn’t happen, I honestly wouldn’t change a thing about this first marathon experience. Not many people can say they finished their first marathon in front of their home with their family and friends around them.
LIke many others when given the choice of my future guaranteed entry I selected 2021 as my first choice. Truth be told, I didn’t really think there was a chance of the marathon going off in 2021. So much felt unsettled at the time of making my election. However, I knew that I wanted the chance to run the 50th NYC marathon. I would still have the chance to do it during my 40th birthday year. But, as I suspected, I lost my dad a few months before the marathon and instead of running in his honor, I ran in his memory. This added to the meaning of the run.
As the date got closer, I was cautiously optimistic that the marathon would happen. For a long time, I was afraid to get my hopes up because I didn’t want to be disappointed by another canceled race. But this was the real deal and it was going to happen!! In contrast to my solo run, I spent the days leading up to the marathon taking in the sights with my family. We had the perfect few days of enjoying great meals, seeing the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty and the Central Park Zoo. The weather was perfect. I was so distracted by making sure everyone had what they needed for the morning of the race- proper layers, snacks, and knowing how to get to the grandstand, that I lost track of the fact that I was about to run the biggest race of my life. I started the day by walking down Fifth Avenue to the bus to Staten Island. It was truly surreal. Crisp. Quiet for NY but not truly silent. As the city never really sleeps. Busses were lined up for blocks to take the runners to the base of the Verrazano Bridge. Fortunately, I made friends waiting in line who helped to pass the several hours we waited before our start time. While it was cold waiting in the start village (I knew that would make for the best running weather)- the time passed quickly sitting along the Verrazano Bridge, taking in the people, the sights and trying to settle my nerves. The energy was high and before I knew it I was making my way to the starting corral. On the top level of the Verrazano Bridge I stood in awe- thinking of all the times I had driven over the bridge, never once thinking that I would run across it. How would I describe the experience?? Intense. There is such a buzz at the start of the marathon where there are no spectators but all the runners are so excited. Once we crossed the bridge there were spectoros, music and excitement for miles. The only other really quiet stretch was the Queensboro Bridge. But then you have the spectators waiting on First Avenue to cheer you on. I’m still amazed at how many volunteers and spectators gave of their time that day to make the race possible. I wore a bib with my name on it and it was as though the spectators knew when I needed a boost and would call out my name.
I like to think of my two marathon experiences as my first marathon and my first “real” marathon. Trust me, anyone knows that 26.2 whether you do it alone or with 30,000 people is a marathon. But there is no describing the energy felt for the 26.2 in NY. In NY I was running as part of a community. When I ran alone it was a very personal experience. It was something I had to do for me. In NY it’s as though the entire city was cheering me to the finish. The sense of community with the runners, many of whom had been waiting two years like me to run in NYC was profound. But one thing remained the same- my husband and boys were there at the end. No, we weren’t in front of our house and they didn’t get to squirt me with water guns like in 2020, but when we called out to each other and locked eyes it was like no one else was there as I crossed the finish line of my first “real” marathon in the greatest city in the world!
For two years I had been mentally preparing to run the NYC Marathon. Fundraising for the Alzheimer’s Association in honor/memory of my dad. For the three months prior I was focused on my training plan and staying healthy, all while being just a little bit afraid the race would get canceled. Then Chicago and Boston both successfully happened and I felt comfortable that New York would happen too. We had turned the trip to the marathon into an extended family weekend. We had quality family time leading up to the race- hitting all the highlights. We saw the Empire State Building, Statute of Liberty and even enjoyed the sea lion show in the Central Park Zoo. We caught up with friends and had dinner at some of our favorite places. Quite honestly worrying about all the logistics of the weekend combined with having fun with frineds really kept me from thinking about the fact that I was about to run the biggest race of my life. That at 40 years old I was going to stand on top of the Verrazano Bridge and run the NYC Marathon. Even I still can’t believe this happened.
Did you even run if you don’t flat lay??
I’m a planner. Planning and making arrangements is my thing. I had all the details worked out and that kept my nervous energy busy. But there were so many things I couldn’t control. The weather, the fact that I had to get the bus at 5:15 AM and didn’t start until 10:40. Or that the logistics of how to get into the Grandstand seating for Jeff and the boys didn’t make any sense. I’m telling you all this “extra” worry kept me from thinking about running the largest marathon in the world. That is until I sat myself down along the Verrazano Bridge and took in the grandness of the experience. Listening to music I looked around at all the other folks about to embark on the same crazy experience of running five bridges and five Burroughs through New York. What was I thinking?? Primarily I was thinking how am I going to find Jeff and the boys at the finish so we see each other after they wait so long for me to finish. Not for a minute did it cross my mind that I wouldn’t finish. Crazy in hindsight- but also at about mile 20 when my hamstrings hurt so badly that running was a challenge- but we will get there.
I started out with the 4 hour pace group. Running sub four was my goal. It felt realistic. Felt- because I may have underestimated the hills on the course a tad bit. I felt healthy to start, I was fueling and hydrating appropriately and had a solid first half. Even chatting with the others in the pace group. Then I had to stop to go to the bathroom and lost my pace group. I had to work to regain my mojo a little bit. I enjoyed the camaraderie of running with a pace group for the first time. Plus now I had to do a better job of monitoring my pace since I was on my own. I remain completely blown away at the number of people who came out to support the marathon. I’m talking that some sections of the race were practically single file runners because the streets were full of people. While this amazing energy is profound for me, it was also a little unsettling. I’m not a huge fan of big crowds. Are you laughing- because I was running with 30,000 people? Yeah, I’m laughing too. But anyway, there was a stretch that was so congested with people that it really took me off guard. I felt claustrophobic and actually tried to put my headphones on to get into my own zone for a little bit. Shocker- it was actually too loud with all the people. Trust me- this is a blessing in comparison to the dreaded Queensborough Bridge. While I knew there was this quiet stretch coming I underestimated how long that damn bridge was going to feel when all you could here were feet. While the elevation gain is not the same as the Verrazano Bridge it…was…HARD. For the first time I had this little piece of doubt creep into my brain. Was I going to finish what I came here to do?
Mantras are important to me. So I dug deep literally and remembered that “I run for those who can’t” and damn it “I can do hard things!” My hard was short lived. The hard of those suffering for Alzheimer’s doesn’t get to come and go. When I started this marathon quest it was to raise funds and awareness for the Alzheimer’s Association in honor of my dad. My Dad lost his battle with Alzheimer’s in August so the marathon became even more meaningful. I know he was with me the whole way- but seriously dad I could have used a little help around mile 20 when my hamstrings knotted up so tightly that I again wasn’t quite sure I could in fact finish what I had come to start. When I finally got off that damn Queensborough Bridge I saw my friend from HS who I in fact haven’t seen since HS. She came out to support me that day and seeing her couldn’t have come at a better time!! Seeing the other folks out there in their Alzheimer’s Association singlets was awesome too. While the race is personal and individual, we were still running as part of a team. I’m not going to lie- I knew that there was a cheer zone for the Alzheimer’s Association and I had committed it to memory but somewhere along the Queensborough Bridge anything I had committed to memory left my brain. Until I started hearing tons of shouting from our cheer zone. Thanks to my Alzheimer’s Association friends for the support along the way. I honestly don’t remember what mile that was- but I love that you were there!!
I feel like my face says it all- so very tired but so happy at the same time!!
Pregnant women joke about pregnancy brain- I’m here to tell you marathon brain is a real thing as mine became mush. Another fun example of that would be when all of a sudden in my headphone I heard “hello.” It was my sister. Me: “Did you call me?” Ashley: “No, I texted and then you called.” She had been texting me all morning along with other friends and family who were following along on the tracker. That “crowd” support also meant so much. So here I was in Central Park with less than two mile to go delirious getting water and Gatorade saying to my sister- “Yeah I’m not so sure I can do this.” Now really, I knew that if I had to I would have crawled from that spot and I could finish. But man, my hamstrings hurt so darn badly. Shortly after I ran into that same friend again. I was on the far right side and she was on the left side- and I basically did a crazy car lane change across the traffic to give her a big hug for coming out. Basically I had been thinking about the fact that I should have stopped when I saw her the first time to thank her and here she was giving me another chance. A little more than a mile to go. Out of the park and onto Central Park South and then back into the park again. At this point I was kind of doing a run walk combination. No matter what I did I couldn’t quite loosen up my hamstrings. I was well aware that my four hour marathon dream died somewhere along the Queensborough Bridge (notice I’m not a fan). But I was the only one who cared about that silly time goal. My people- my husband, and two sons waiting at the finish line could careless what time I finished- just that I finished. Up to Columbus Circle we came- and back into the park. It wouldn’t be long now. We had walked the finish the day before so I knew there was one incline, but I also knew they had it marked. 800 to go. 400 to go. 200 to go and there are my boys jumping up and down, ringing their cowbells with huge smiles on their faces. In that moment it was if we were the only ones there as we connected and then I went the final 100 to cross the finish line of my first “real” marathon. Final time 4:18:55.
I’m not going to lie, the walk back to the hotel was the longest walk of my entire life. Thirteen blocks felt like thirteen miles. I slowly but surely put one foot in front of the other and made my way back. All I wanted was a hot bath, champagne and pizza!! All of which were quickly arranged. The perfect end to the perfect marathon- and the perfect weekend. I would be remiss if I didn’t again say thank you to all the friends, family and strangers who donated to the Alzheimer’s Association in honor/memory of my dad. Another huge thank you for the support in the months…years leading up to the big day. I promise a small break in marathon talk for a bit. To my co-workers who supported me, made me signs and surprised me with a celebratory lunch- I appreciate you all so very much. And the biggest thank you to my amazing husband who supports my crazy ideas- encourages me to do my best, while at the same time take pause and realize that my expectations might be a little much- and who entertained our two boys for 5 hours so they could have front row seats to see me finish. I am truly blessed!!
So, what’s next? There’s always a next, right? Shockingly to my boys I took off all of this week and haven’t run since Sunday. It’s not that I don’t feel good. I actually feel great. I’m just recognizing the awesome thing my body accomplished and giving it a little bit of grace. But then I’ll be back it. Slow and steady to finish up 2021. With my sights on a new big goal in 2022. I’ll continue to raise awareness and advocate for the Alzheimer’s Association. Check out what’s next for 2022! Psst….See you in Bean Town in October!!
Two years ago I was in New York City for training for work. I had just come off my first half marathon. Running a marathon had not crossed my mind. But, then I saw the City preparing for one of the largest marathons in the world. And a thought crept into my mind, maybe just maybe I should…could run the NYC Marathon. If you know me, once a thought has entered my brain, I’m going to research the heck out of it and do it. I hadn’t even been running for a year at this point and as I said, literally just finished running my first half marathon. Yet, during my run from my hotel to Central Park it became clear to me that I would run the New York City Marathon. Shortly, thereafter I learned that you could register to run by fundraising for various charities, including the Alzheimer’s Association. At the time my father was years into his battle with Alzheimer’s and the thought of fundraising and running for the Alzheimer’s Association gave my running new purpose. I quickly became acquainted with the woman who organized the charity race entries for the Alzheimer’s Association and marked my calendar for when I could register. This friends is how my quest to run the NYC Marathon began….in October of 2019. In March of 2020, March 8th to be specific I actually registered for the 2020 NYC Marathon. I was beyond excited, until like all other major races the marathon was canceled.
So here we are the end of October 2021, two years later and one week away from the 2021 New York City Marathon. God love my husband who has lived the ups and downs of the stress of this whole process- of registering, the sadness of the race being canceled, the questions of whether I would be able to run this year when the marathon was canceled in 2020. That’s not even going into the amount of marathon talk that has been going on over the last few months. Holy cow- what would normally be a twelve week training cycle has basically been 24 months. It is hard to believe that I’m eight days away from running the race that I have been mentally and physically preparing for the last two years. Many have asked “how are you doing?” The answer is simple- I know I’m physically ready. I know mentally I can go the distance. BUT, I know full well I’m going to be a bundle of emotions. The experience is going to be a tad bit different from my solo marathon around my neighborhood that I ran last Fall. I’m eager to take in all the sights, sounds and the full marathon experience in the greatest City in America. I’m excited for the boys to see a major marathon in action. I’m also totally nervous about all the logistic details. The getting to the bus, the start line and the waiting to start. My Type A mind is on overdrive trying to anticipate all the things I “might” need. I also know full well that I’ve put all of my dad dying energy into my running and preparing for this race. So I’m going to be an emotional mess as I cross the finish line. While he won’t be here to know that I did it, I’m certain he’s going to be watching me every step of the way, that he will be the wind at my back carrying me through five Burroughs and over 5 bridges.
You too can follow along using the TCS New York City Marathon App. My bib number is 19353. Mentally I have an A and a B goal. While the big goal is to finish the damn race. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have a time goal floating around my head too. More importantly I want to take in and enjoy the entire experience. Never in my life did I think that I would run across the Verrazano Bridge?! Stay tuned for updates next week when I’ll compare my solo marathon from 2020 with the experience of running the largest post Covid marathon in NYC with 33,000 of my closest running friends.
It’s October 2nd. September was literally the longest, yet shortest month ever. Anyone else find September to be complete madness? It’s back to school- and everyone is getting back into a routine. For me it’s the height of Jewish holiday season- which means lots of meals and time at services. While I enjoy both- when they fall “early” and in the middle of the week it just makes life a bit more challenging. This year I added the whole still transitioning to my new job, I have lots of night events to the mix. And this year and only this year it will also be the month after my father died. The time when I keep going left foot, right foot, getting the things done knowing something totally random had the potential to set me off at any time. It was my highest mileage since June. It was also a read four books kind of month. September was a MONTH. But here we are and it’s October. I’m sitting outside with a sweatshirt- (oh man I love fall weather), blogging, meal planning and downloading my next read to my Kindle (despite having a stack of books that keeps growing in my room to read). But I’m also sitting here thinking that a quarter of the year remains. While part of me is already thinking of goals for 2022 (yes, I already have my Erin Condren planner ready to go) the other part of me is like slow your roll you have a quarter of this year remaining to do great things.
A few years ago I started setting goals for the year- writing a letter to myself of the things that I hoped to accomplish for the given year. FYI the first year I did this I just realized was 2020. I’m sitting here laughing because we barely got quarter of 2020 in before Covid hit. In looking at my list for 2021 some of the items are checked off; others will not get accomplished (sorry to say 1500 miles is looking like it isn’t going to happen) but there’s still time for others. Like running an in person marathon!! Here I come NYC!!! Or sneaking away for the weekend with my husband. This year isn’t over- there is a lot still to come- a lot to still focus on! Time to double down on the focus and keep moving forward.
Basically most of my thoughts are focused on the NYC Marathon right now. It’s a little over a month away. Once it’s over it will practically be Thanksgiving and before you know it the year will be over. Yikes!! Now it’s time to start holiday shopping! I’m joking- but really it’s time to get started and cross that stuff off your list! PS I highly recommend Book of the Month…basically for everyone! It has helped broaden my reading repertoire and reconnect with my best friend from college. It’s also like I’m already mentally preparing to check out after the marathon, like my year will be over. Clearly it will be far from over, but I’ll be cruising with my miles for the remainder of the year and pick up more strength training as I won’t be as concerned about miles.
So what are some way to close out this last quarter of the year with a bang?? Those goals or resolutions, if you are a resolution maker can actually happen now. You don’t need to wait until 2022 to drink more water and less wine- exercise more or get more organized. Start doing it today!!! It’s a little dorky- but then again so am I, but I make little check boxes in my planner for the things I want to focus on. There’s just something about checking off the box to give me the satisfaction of knowing that I made that item a priority. For example, I’m going to be dialing in on my nutrition this month and water consumption. And also- getting back to bed by 10:00 PM. In other words- trying to get my body as physically ready as possible to run the NYC Marathon.
But I’m also over here thinking about my reading goal for the year. My goal was 36 books. The start of the year was slow with reading because I was reviewing NYU applications so my reading really picked up in March. I’m at 34 books right now. So now I’m thinking- can I read 48?? I feel like I have the ability to get another 10 books read before the end of the year. So I’m doubling down on that goal too- bumping 36 books to a reach goal of 48, but probably a more realistic goal of 44. But we shall see. Which you know, already has me thinking about whether I can read 52 books next year. Keep in mind I read 16 books last year, so I’ve already doubled that with more to come. I might be a little overzealous with my goal of 52 (kind of like I was with running 1500 miles have running 1300 and change last year- but I’m definitely considering it for 2022.
So what are you going to do with the remaining quarter of the year? There are the things we can control and the ones that we have no control over. Covid has certainly taught me that. I don’t like it, but I’ve come to accept it a bit better. Focus on the things you can control. Take charge in the areas of your life that you know need focus today- don’t wait for some day in the future. Oh and balance that with understanding you can only do so much. Enjoy the time with family and friends, curl up with the book, go for a walk. Let’s crush 2021 and go into 2022 stronger. That’s not to say 2021 was perfect…far from it. But that we took the highs and lows from the year and allowed them to make the best versions of ourselves. And that best version of us is closing out 2021 strong while banging on 2022’s door saying I’m ready- let’s do this!
I’m half way through my training cycle for my first in person marathon. That’s right- I ran my first marathon virtually in October of 2020 when NYC was canceled because of Covid. I had the opportunity to defer my guaranteed entry and learned that I would have the chance to run in 2021. As the marathon wasn’t run in person last year this is still the 50th running of the NYC marathon. This is what I wanted. I wanted to run the 50th Anniversary year- I wanted to run for my 40th birthday (which was in January), so I guess I’m just extending the birthday fun. When this adventure began it was to honor my Dad, by running and fundraising for the Alzheimer’s Association. Less than two month ago my dad lost his battle with Alzheimer’s. So now I run to honor his memory. I was already a bundle of emotions, when I ran virtually last year, but now my emotions are on overdrive.
I’ve been cautiously optimistic as I started my training cycle that the marathon will go off as scheduled. The closer we get to November 7 and the further I get into my training cycle the more optimistic I am that the marathon will happen and I will really toe the line in Staten Island. Things suddenly became very real this past weekend. I had my first longer run (12 miles) at marathon pace. My biggest challenge when running an in person race is to keep my cool at the start and not go out too hard. I imagine I am not alone with that “problem.” There’s so much adrenaline at the start of race- the excitement of running with others- the support along the route to keep going. I’m not sure I can even begin to fully appreciate what it is going to feel like on race day morning. So here I am six weeks to race day and in full freak out mode. I’m trying to anticipate all the things- what is it really going to be like to wait in the starting village for HOURS? What is the weather going to be like? What throw down items of clothing should I pack? Should I get arm sleeves/warmers? How much water should I carry? How am I going to make sure my phone stays charged? What if my watch battery dies? Will the new Apple Watch come out in time?? What in the world is my family going to do all that time while they wait for me? What am I going to want for dinner when I’m done? We would really go back and cheer on the other runners after I finish. This is just a sample of all the practical questions and thoughts running through my mindI’m thinking about. This isn’t even taking into account all of the emotions- I cried last year as I went out to run by myself. I can’t imagine the emotion as I begin to cross the Verrazano Bridge! Forget about when I see my family and enter the park to finish. This is not a DNF situation. Come hell or high water I will cross the finish line! That said- no pressure right??
I’m also in that window where staying healthy is key. There’s not much time for illness or injury to happen and get fully better without derailing this portion of the training. Granted if I accepted the idea that my only goal should be to finish- I could pack in the training now and know that I could finish a marathon. But I don’t want to “just finish.” I want to enjoy the experience. I want to take in the entire experience and I want to honor my father’s memory with each and every step. Again…no pressure! I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the unwavering support I get from my amazing husband. But for him believing in me, helping with the boys and making sure they were always there to cheer me on I couldn’t do it. I’m truly blessed and grateful.
I looked back at my posts from my last training cycle and felt grateful that I took the time to blog each week about that week’s runs. This weekend after my 12 miler the outside of my left knee feels funny- sore, tight. This isn’t a new pain, just a pain I haven’t had for a while. So I went back to my notes. It actually was’t until week 10 of training that this same knee pain popped up last year, but much worse- like couldn’t run much worse. I opted to lift this morning rather than do my scheduled run. Experience gives you a lot of things- when it comes to training it gives you the confidence to modify your running plan to listen to your body and hopefully avoid a more serious injury. We shall see what tomorrow brings as I go for a nice and easy few miles on the treadmill. Knock wood this go round, I’ve managed to avoid the nagging hip pain that plagued me through most of the last marathon training cycle. That said, I’ve fallen into the same trap of focusing on the miles and letting the cross training/lifting go. The last two weeks I’ve been a little bit better and added one lifting day. Core and strength training are really just as important as the miles so it’s important to make the time to get both the miles and the strength training done!
So what will the next six weeks bring?? Lots and lots of overthinking just about everything. Talking to my friend, Suzy of RunLIftMomPod, who will talk me off the wall and give me some helpful pointers. I will select an outfit…and a backup. I’ll commit to shoes, socks, waist pack- the whole nine yards, while likely packing back ups of everything. Deep down I know I can do it, I just need to get over not controlling the logistics and go with it. I can only prepare so much- the other pieces will fall into place. I will trust my training. I will take in the experience. Less than 40 days until the NYC Marathon!! On your mark, get set- GO!!!
Let’s be real life is always a balancing act right? Kids, work, working out, volunteering, time for your spouse, the house, laundry, more laundry. As the years go on the balancing changes. For example, when the boys were young and I was a stay home mom- it was balancing finding time to shower and make dinner with feedings, diaper changes and nap schedules. Then they got a little bit older and it was balancing having two kids instead of one. Trying to make their schedules mesh. Then one starts school, one is home and you are doing all the mommy and me activities. You get the idea as years pass by we are just changing the things that are always at a delicate balance. I laugh because Covid has just made the balance like a see saw. Every time we think we are in a good place there’s some sort of monkey wrench thrown into the mix.
Last year for the first time in my years as a mother both of my children were in school full time for the very first time. I had this grand plan for a life of luxury. I would drop them off, have time during the day to train for my marathon, read, write. I laugh, because within moments of them both being in school I started subbing basically full time at school. Let’s be real, I’m not really the take it easy, have a lot of time on your hands kind of person, so this wasn’t a huge surprise. We figured out the balance and it worked out well. I was happy to be at school with the boys and they were happy to have me there. I learned a lot about myself and the fact that I was really ready to go back to work.
Fast forward to July of 2021. Back to work full time- for real. I was a host of emotions- worried that I couldn’t truly find the balance, worried that I couldn’t remain the mom that I wanted to be to the boys. We quickly got into our summer routine and realized…this will work! Not only would it work, it was really important for the boys to see me doing something beyond being their mom. I’m not for one moment saying being a mom isn’t enough. Quite honestly, if you are blessed to be a mom I consider it the number one and most important “job.” That said, it was healthy for them to see me working on projects and doing other things. Once I got settled I realized how much I needed this for me too. So I worked on getting acclimated. The boys enjoyed camp and we got into a routine- a balance so to speak.
Then the balance was thrown out of whack…my dad died. While he had been battling Alzheimer’s for years, this sudden decline and death seemingly came out of no where. Understandably so the balance that we were just holding onto got undone. It would have remained undone but for the fact that school was starting as was marathon training. Time to kick it into high gear when all I wanted to do was nothing at all.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that marathon training began the week after my dad’s funeral. The reason I caught the marathon bug was to fundraise for the Alzheimer’s Association. He was my why for doing this big scary thing called running the NYC Marathon. The week following his funeral I couldn’t have been less motivated to lace up my shoes and run, but I’m a stickler for following the training plan. So in a good way it forced me to get my butt in gear, lace up my shoes and put one foot in front of the other.
Shortly thereafter would come the true test- back to school madness was about to begin. I think we can all agree that September is a crazy month. Everyone is getting back into routine and there are so many new things- new activities, back to school night, etc. etc. Throw into the mix that I had several programs for work in addition to the Jewish holidays along with the back to school madness/marathon training. Oh my goodness- it was a blur!! By the end of each day I am completely exhausted and falling asleep most days when the boys go to bed. But like always, we somehow found the balance and made it work. We still found the time for books and snuggles and movies. We found the time to discuss, highs, lows and buffalos each day. The boys found ways to help me get ready for events at work and we enjoyed more than one golf cart ride together. Was it easy? Heck no. Would I trade it for the world? Also no. Someone recently asked me how I was really doing regarding my dad. The truth is, there are good days and bad days. There are moments that set me off for no reason. I think the crazy schedule and being busy helped. He wouldn’t want me to be sad. He was always hustling and working hard. He’d be happy to know that I am too.
At the end of the day- I couldn’t be happier with my new job or the fact that I get to work where the boys go to school. I joined an amazingly supportive community, where family still comes first. I work hard, mom hard and run hard everyday. All while finding time to read for pleasure- my other guilty pleasure. We’ve found our balance…for now! Until something changes and we work to find the balance again!
Back in 2019 my first “long” race was the Charles Street 12, aka Chuck12. I love the idea of the race starting in Towson, not far from where I used to work, going past the hospital that I delivered the boys, continuing past where I went to law school and ultimately finishing at Under Armour Headquarter in Baltimore City. When I ran this race two years ago it was going to be my longest race to date and I didn’t really know what to expect. But when I toed the line this year, I’ve run a variety of half marathons and a virtual marathon. Plus, there’s nothing like having a real sense of the course. I wasn’t a newbie runner- yet still had that nervous energy as we got started. Even with Chuck 12 being my ultimate favorite race, I almost didn’t go. Last week was crazy- start of school, Jackson’s birthday, big event at work, all on the heels of a long month following my father’s death. But this was a real life racing opportunity, how could I pass it up?
I’m not going to lie, I was super sad and frustrated when racing got “covid cancelled” for much of 2020 and into 2021. I missed the opportunity to have a race setting push me to run my very best and test my training. I ran all the virtual races and it was just not the same. It took seemingly forever for racing to return to Maryland. It wasn’t really until June of 2021 when races started to happen in person. In October of 2020, I “raced” my virtual marathon and then basically had been in maintenance running mode for months, with no real race on the horizon. The June race that I ran was a last minute entry and a really tough course. I was of course happy that I did it- when I was done. Up next was the Frederick Half. This was a race I had deferred from 2020, that was supposed to be in May but was in July. Ugh- Maryland in July is hot and humid. Overall that day proved to be decent weather conditions, but my time was not my best, nor was it my worst. Again, I was so happy that I did it and my husband and sons were there to cheer me to the finish. But really my two racing experiences in 2021 had proven hard and didn’t yield the time results I had been hoping for. So clearly, I knew despite the long week- month- and migraine I was running the Charles Street 12.
One of the interesting parts of Chuck 12 is it starts and finishes at completely different places- as you would imagine that are 12 miles apart. I’m so fortunate that my husband and boys still enjoy coming out to wait for hours to see me cross the finish line. So they headed to the finish and my friend and I drove to the start of the race. Funny side story- I wear glasses 98% of the time. Maybe on 10 occasions during the year do I wear my contacts. But for whatever reason for races I prefer to wear my contacts so I don’t have to worry about my prescription sunglasses. If I drop or lose my sunglasses I would much rather it be a $25 pair than a $500 pair of prescription lenses. However, since I so rarely wear my contacts I make a lot of rookie mistakes with them. The car ride to the race proved to be one such time. My eyes were super itchy so I scratched them without giving it too much thought. Until, all of a sudden I couldn’t see so well out of my right eye. I thought at first that the contact was dry and tried to generate tears. Then it dawned on me…I had rubbed my contact out of my eye!! Panic set it. I didn’t have glasses with me and I certainly didn’t have another contact. I searched my eye- maybe it was hiding up under my lid. No luck. I carefully looked all around me. No luck. Well, it hadn’t disappeared so where on earth did it go?? We got to the start of the race and did some more searching in the car. As a last resort, I got out and thought maybe looking from a different angle I might see it. Still nothing. So I was resigned to running with on contact, and a migraine that I was keeping at bay with Excederin Migraine. Now if that doesn’t sound like prime condition to run a race, I don’t know what does. Then I got back into the car. Folded up like a creased up taco was my contact on the seat of the car. I then proceeded to break all the contact wearing rules in the book. Took the cap off my water bottle, dropped the contact in and poured some water on in- willing the dried up little contact to come back to life. All of this is quite entertaining NOW- at the time. Not so much. Somehow the contact sprung back to life and I got it back in my eye. Yes, I know it was completely unsanitary. But short of spitting on my contact I wasn’t really sure what else to do. I’ve considered every in person race leading up to NYC a trial run and so the lesson was BRING EXTRA CONTACTS!! I may even bring and old pair of glass that I’m willing to part with too. Something to think about for sure.
Well, now that the contact drama is behind us I could begin to focus on the nervousness and the fact that generates the sensation of needing to go to the bathroom. So I made a bee line for the porta potty line. One would think that one visit would be sufficient as I really hadn’t drank that much, however there was the half marathon when I assumed it was jus the nervous sensation that I needed to urinate- when in fact I really did and I lost nearly two minutes running to a bathroom in the Magic Kingdom. As a result, I never take for granted that it’s nerves and go to the bathroom as many times as possible before the race. This should be really interesting when I have to spend nearly 5 hours waiting to start the marathon in November.
Let’s chat about the weather. The week leading up to the race was hot and humid until the remnants of Hurricane Ida came through and cooled things off considerably. That translated to temperatures in the 50s to start the race, but still some humidity. Overall a beautiful weather day to run a great course. This was part of what got me out of bed the morning of the race. How could I pass up such a wonderful weather day?? That and I’m in a marathon training cycle. The week called for 26 miles and I still had 12 to run as I had planned for the race to complete my weekly mileage. I’m a stickler for following the plan. Either way I was going to be running 12 miles so I might as well make it part of the race.
Speaking of training cycles- when I ran the Chuck 12 last time, I trained for it like it was a half marathon. Did the proper tapering, etc so I would have fresh legs to run on. As I just mentioned I’m in the middle of a marathon training cycle. So there was no taper and I had already run 14 miles this week, including speed work earlier in the week. The week after the race has a key run of 10 miles. So I’m considering myself ahead of the game with having the 12 miles done early. There are those who say don’t race during a training cycle as racing taxes your body differently than training runs. There are others who would say that two months before the marathon having a race like experience isn’t detrimental. I knew I had two options when I showed up on race morning- treat it like a training run and take it easy or run it like a race. Training my mind to have easy runs was a work in progress for a long time, so it’s definitely not at the place that I could have treated this just like a training run…it was a RACE!
Whereas my goals in 2019 were to finish races, I have more specific time goals now. Most of the time they are conservative. Sometimes, like for Frederick because of the heat and humidity I knew I needed to bring my time goal down to a safe number to not over tax my body. In the end I met that goal, but overall didn’t feel solid during the course of the race. When it came time to plan for Chuck 12, I couldn’t quite figure out what I thought my time could be. In 2019 my time was 1:52:28. At the time, that was 5 minutes faster than what I had anticipated would be my finish time. I was beyond shocked when I finished that quickly, as was my family who weren’t expecting me for another 5 minutes or so. Based upon my utter exhaustion and not tapering I was considering 1:48 a solid finish time for 2021. That would be more than 4 minutes better than last time and seemed like a realistic goal. But my reach goal was 1:42. Now that is a broad range! Six minutes faster would mean shaving 30 seconds or so off per mile from my 1:48 goal. That’s a lot of time. That said, 8:30 a mile isn’t too far off what I was doing when I hit my stride before Covid shut everything down. I’ve never run with a pace group during a race, but I’m intrigued by the idea. There were pacers at the race which got my mind thinking. I lined up with the 1:40 pace group. Yes, I know this is even faster than my reach goal, so I needed to have my head examined. But they looked like a fun bunch. I knew I couldn’t really hang with them, but went out with them for the first mile and then settled into my pace. I continual remind myself that I need to run my own race and pace. But here’s what I figured, I would maintain my own pace that felt comfortable, as comfortable as a pace can feel at race pace and try to avoid getting passed by the 1:45 pace group. If however, the 1:45 pace group came up on me I would run with them and still beat my 1:48 initial goal.
After learning to race and take water when it was offered, Covid had me wearing water to train and race. Each is a mental mind shift. Truth be told, I don’t love carrying my own water, but there’s something to be said to be able to drink whenever you would like. It also allows me to have a nutrition pouch whenever it’s convenient because I need some water to wash it down. All this to say, when push came to shove I opted not to carry my own water. It felt good to be traveling light!!
While the course is advertised as down hill, the first six miles or so have a series of hills. I play mind games as I tick off the miles during a race. At first it’s to get under 10 miles. Then I start adding my mileage. Usually once I get to four miles I’m in a solid rhythm and feeling pretty good. So for this race my mental mind games were to get to 6 and I would be halfway done. Then focus on getting to 8- then 10- then at 11 which is when I call to say I’m a mile out and boom I’m done. It’s really not quite that simple, but that’s literally how my mind was working Saturday. At the end of the day- it’s all about what works for you. This is what works for me! This was the first race in a long time that I wasn’t questioning my sanity. I felt solid pretty much the whole time. That is not to say that I wasn’t extremely happy to see the finish line because I was in fact very happy to finish. But the best part of the finish was that it wasn’t super crowded and I had a great view of the boys with their signs. I was waving and smiling to finish up 12 miles. Who would have ever thought?? There is truly something to be said to having family support at the finish line. Sometimes it’s what gets me there and times like Saturday it’s fun to celebrate together!
Best cheering crew!
Because I’m all about the numbers- how did things shake out?? I averaged 8:35 a mile for 12 miles. Not too shabby. There were 953 participants. I finished 247. So not quite the top 25% but not too far off. There were 479 women who ran. I finished 74th. (PS my 8 year old had counted all the women who finished before me and was able to tell me within one of what number woman I was to finish). In my new masters age category of 40-49 there were 152 women. I finished 17th. So, all in all a solid showing, a good race overall and I can’t wait to do it again next year!! The Charles 12 will always hold a special place in my heart.
There are times in life when we think we are fully prepared for what is to come- good or bad. Having a child- major life milestone- the moment when you know he or she is the one.
Before having the boys I imagined both how hard the experience was going to be and how amazing it would be to hold them for the very first time. Truth be told the experience wasn’t as hard as I imagined- but the feeling of absolute awe of the medical staff and quite honestly of my body remains. And there is nothing that compares with that first look, that first hold of your newborn baby. But then I think back to when we were expecting our second child. How on earth could I possibly love this child as much as my first, the one who made me a mother. Well, you know what when he was born my heart doubled in size and I love them equally- we used to say to the moon and back but now have progressed to Pluto and back, because according to my sons that’s even further so that means I love them even more. Truth be told there is NO way I could love them more. I’m grateful each and every day that I get to be there mother. Yes, even on the hard days!!
Think about other milestone experiences. Going to college- taking board exams- getting married. Generally we think we know how good or bad these experiences are going to be. Going to college- initially a huge adjustment- but life changing. I met my husband there and as they say “the rest is history.” The Bar Exam- I imagined it would be terrible- it was somehow even worse than I had even imagined it would be- but I survived. Hard experiences give us new perspective, a new understanding of what is important.
As we get older the experiences change and evolve. Our kids start to grow, as they are supposed to. They need us differently- they go to school. How exciting for them and they have loved it from the very beginning. I cry every single first day of school. No idea why. But I still do.
There are times in life when we are unprepared for for the emotions that come with an experience. You can see all the signs and know what is coming, but yet the experience still stops us in our tracks. Years ago we knew that the Alzheimer’s diagnosis was coming for my dad. Even though he was still in his 50s all the signs were there. Yet, having confirmation still hurt. It was scary to know what was to come. When you have a loved one diagnosed with Alzheimer’s it is a matter of just waiting for when things start to decline and then decline more rapidly. People are kind and ask how he’s doing- and as the years go on there’s a status quo and then the point when you know things are just going to continue to get worse. There is no real way to answer the question when people ask. The whole time you know the end game. They aren’t going to get better…ever. And then even though you’ve known it was going to come some day the some day comes and it’s time to say goodbye. There is nothing in your life that prepares you to say goodbye to a parent. No book you can read, no other experience you can have to prepare you. It’s raw, it hurts, there’s an ache to my core.
My dad took a sharp decline on Sunday. We had a truly heartfelt goodbye via FaceTime. He’s in Arizona and I’m in Maryland. He told me it was time to “take a rest from his rest and not to be upset”. He told me that he loved me. I ugly cried. I knew that was going to be the best last conversation I could hope for given his condition. But yesterday morning I just knew I needed to go to see him. I honestly didn’t know if I was going to make it in time, but I had to try. So today I boarded a flight at 6:45 AM in Maryland and landed in Arizona before 9:00 AM. I got to spend several hours with my dad. I held his hand. I cried. I told him that I loved him and then the time came to give him one last hug. There have been previous times that we thought were going to be the last time I saw him, but this was it. The very last time. There are no words to describe the feeling.
I realize that for some they never get the chance to say goodbye and in many respects I’m “fortunate,” but you’ll excuse me if I’m not feeling too fortunate right now. I still can’t understand the why my dad had to get Alzheimer’s. Why someone who worked so hard all their life had to have their life cut so short by this dreadful disease. I know I will keep working, running and fighting for a cure that someday others don’t have to suffer this way. We have to and can do better- we must #endalz.
